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Prompt: Behind Closed Doors

Immediately I think of privacy – in my own room. Also, the oft spoken phrase of “you never know what goes on behind closed doors.” We sometimes speak of the rights of celebrities and how much privacy they may be entitled to and how much they must give up to enjoy the benefits of fame and fortune.

But I also think about the doors to our hearts and how those closed barriers prevent or at the very least discourage intimacy. How often our fear of being “found out” – that we are not the person we believe others think we are or our own disappointment in ourselves –  keeps us from opening up and living authentically, honestly, and without shame.

I know that Alex’s isolation is what killed him. Behind the closed door of his heart and mind were the demons and doubts that overpowered his good nature and led him down the deep, dark hole of depression to suicide.

How much effort would it have taken to open the door? A simple knock? A quick turn of the latch? Or was there a key? Or would I have needed a ramrod? I do wonder, sometimes, what was needed exactly to get behind the closed doors and entice him to a hallway, or another room, or to the outside where he’d gain a new perspective?

As with all our children who died, we ask, “Did we do enough? What could we have done differently to have a different, and better, outcome?”

Behind the closed doors of our own psyche we ponder, we write, we hope, we pray. And in our daily lives we simply walk on.